Out Here In Space

Songs

Listen to these Songs at Panzon's Reverbnation Page

Mistakes
Yellow Month
Tomorrow
Orbit
All Right
Call Me
We Don't Spend (Any time together)
What if I were you?
My World
Cult of My Own
Backslide
Way Back Home
Bluese
Between
Our Shared Nightmare
Tired

Liner Notes

The Title of this compilation of songs is Out Here in Space, a phrase from my song Orbit. Originally I was going to call it Pitchy, in honor of my singing voice, but I felt it was too self-deprecating. Since most of my songs seem to deal with loneliness and disconnection, I thought Out Here in Space made the appropriate statement. I thought of calling it All by Myself, since this was a solo project, but I didn’t want it to seem like an ode to Eric Carmen. In any case, I really didn’t do it all alone – thank you GarageBand for all your drum and bass tracks!

The Players:
Guitars, Piano, Keyboard, Voice: Mike
All other Instruments: Created on Music Write 2000 or manipulated from GarageBand loops.

The Songs: Mistakes was written after getting a very stiff fine for a driving infraction at a time when I had no money. The injustice of it all inspired me to create a song. This is the newest song (started January 2006), and thus it appears first. Yellow Month was written in 2003 after reading about the history of the potato famine. It’s written from the perspective of an Irish potato farmer, and the yellow month refers to the time of greatest hardship, usually around July, when “the fields were yellow, as were the faces of the paupers.” Tomorrow (May not be Mine) I wrote in 2005, and was the first song I wrote on the piano. I was coming off a really bad year and was coming to some new realizations about life. Mainly, I decided to live more moment-to-moment while I “build a bridge to tomorrow”. I wanted to write something called no day but today, but it’s been done. Orbit was created from scrap of poem I had written years before, and in 2005 I turned it into a song about never connecting completely with another person, and having to make the best of it. All Right I started in 1999 when I was having a rough night. I had a few phrases that were repeating in my head and eventually a melody came. Creating the song made that night bearable, and I still use it to help get though rough days. Call Me I wrote in 2005. It expresses my inability to reconcile wanting to hang out with people but not liking the activities we normally do (especially TV). Basically, all I want to do is Karaoke. We Don’t Spend Any Time Together was started in 2003 when Jim and I were still separated by the Bay Bridge. Now that we’re living together I’ll write an update - we spend too much time together … (just kidding, Jim). What if I Were You is an instrumental based a riff I worked up in 2006. Garageband provided the rhythm section, which then provided incentive to add more guitars. I have no idea why I chose that title. My World I worked up in 2003. All the crazy affects are on purpose so don’t worry. The lyrics are a bit hokey, but the premise is simple: the first part of the song is from the perspective of the Bush Administration; the second part is from the perspective of the rest of us. Enjoy. Cult of My Own I also worked up somewhere in 2003. I’ve changed the lyrics for the verses so much on this song I have no idea what’s on the final version. But the chorus says it all … . Backslide was the only good thing to happen in 2004. It captures my state of my mind as I realized my life had changed dramatically. I appeared to have ‘lost’ something of myself along road of life. Still looking for it, by the way. Way Back Home is a blues number I created around 2002. It was a lot of fun to play. Bluese is just a little transition piece. I was listening to my old tapes of song ideas and came across this little guitar piece and decided to flesh it out. Between was written around the end of 2004 when I was feeling quite dead to the world. (Did I mention that was a bad year for me?) I was feeling very disconnected from life and was struggling to fix that. I think I got a handle on it now. Our Shared Nightmare was written at the Quetzal café in April of 1996, a few months after arriving in San Francisco. I moved to San Francisco to start life over after my best friend committed suicide in 1995. This song comes straight from a dream – or shall I say nightmare – that I had about my friend. I’m very happy to have finally completed this song. Finally, there’s the song Tired that also comes from 1996. I admit, it’s the cheesiest song ever, but I still love listening to it and playing those guitar parts. Unfortunately, I was getting pretty tired when finishing this song and probably could have worked on it more. But after a while, I was ready to just let go, and let this and my other babies fly off into outer space.
February 1, 2007

Lyrics

Mistakes

Mistakes

Twelve years on the road and just today
Got a traffic fine that I just can’t pay
Drive easy down the road of life
And make no mistakes

If you got cash it’s no disgrace
But if you ain’t got much it’s a slap in the face
Drive easy on the road of life
And make no mistakes

I’ve got nothing to show
And every time I try to get some dough
I don’t get to reap what I sow
It’s not my year
Mistakes keep catching up to me
I don’t know how to get off this track
I gotta get back I gotta get back

I can't stay this way
Won't be let down anymore
I'm gonna get my way
Make no mistake
You gotta be perfect if you're poor

Each day of my life I try to be
Wary of the traps they set for me
Drive easy down the road of life
and make no mistakes.

Yellow

In the Yellow Month

The Gombeen Merchants are making it tough
Our Catholic compatriots in the yellow month
We can blame the British and still be right
To blame our own

The lumpers gone and so’s our food
Can’t buy enough meal to make it through
We can blame our own and yet
They ain’t like us

In the yellow month
Summers here and down we go
In the yellow month
We can’t see the green through our darkening eyes.

The white boys are coming to make it fair
The pigs are safe with the stench in the air
We inspire a better army and more police
The land is there for the leisure class
We take what they give and try to make it last
Animals in England are better fed And better off.

In the yellow month…how we make it I’ll never know
In the yellow month…we can’t see the green through our darkening eyes

Skies – they don’t yet own
But the land is all we want
We’re not going back to a better time
We’re in the hands of God no longer
We’re in the hands of merchant men

In the Yellow Month…how we'll make it I'll never know
In the Yellow Month…we can't see the green through our darkening eyes.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow (May not be Mine)

Let us gather together despite the gloom
Let our laughter be a candle to light
This sacred room
The news today could drive all our dreams away
Don’t let it tear us apart

And I feel with all my heart
And sing with every breath
This is no time to rest
And this moment is all we have
Though I want it to go on tomorrow
Cause’ the music feels so fine
Tomorrow may not be mine

In the evening when the sun goes down
In the daytime when the clouds
And rain have gathered ‘round
Don’t you feel the sunshine when we touch?
We shouldn’t be apart

When we’re together the music is like wine
And our love desolves the hate
We can’t pass this chance to dance
For tomorrow may be too late

And we feel with all our might
And sing into the night
This is no time to fight
For this moment is all we have
But let us build a bridge to tomorrow
As we sing our love in song
Tommorrow may come after all

Let us gather together in this room
Let our music be a method
To drive away this gloom
Let it drive away this gloom

Orbit

Orbit

If I held you closer you would suffocate
My arms can’t melt into your soul
I can’t find a way to communicate
There’s too much space between these walls.

Here we are, elliptical people
Moving around and around
Orbiting each other never touching
We’re in orbit, out here in space

There are secrets no one can ever tell
No one here can handle the truth
In the end we’re all different worlds
Trying to escape gravities pull

There’s always a mystery under our skin
We’re always alone
but it’s alright
If we have each other

Here we are, elliptical people
Moving around and around
Orbiting each other never touching

Here we are, stars in the night
Shining our light on each other
Giving ourselves, but from a great distance

Here we are, moons in the sky
Trying to face the sun
No one wants to reveal the dark side

All Right

All right

It’s just one of those days
When every thing seems to be going wrong
All these little things,
Make me feel like no one
Any other day
These setbacks I would shove away
But today they weigh so heavy
That all I can do is say:

All right, all right
There’s nothing to make me feel
All right, all right
'Till the morning comes

In my muddled mind
I’m a misty San Francisco day
All my energy
Seems to have just flown away
When I think of life
Everything seems so negative
But I know that it won't last
That all I can do is wait
(till the morning comes)

All right, all right
There's nothing to make me feel
(Like I want to feel)
All right, all right

Till the morning comes
Then everything will be going fine.
I’ll have forgotten all these little things
That made me feel
Like I want to die
I will fly
To a higher place
Above all this madness
Where all I can do is pray
(That it will be)
All right, all right
There’s nothing to make me feel
(Like I wanna feel)
All right, All right
Till the morning comes

Call Me

Spend

My World

My World

Everybody kneel
Only this real
I don’t care what you feel
So you better run if you don’t want to face it
This is my world I’m gonna shape it
I’m gonna give you all of my hatred
And the best part is, you’re gonna take it

All you people scream
Forget all your dreams
This is what it seems
But you cannot run if you don’t want to face it
This is my world I’m gonna shape it
I’m gonna give you all of my hatred
And the best part is, you’re gonna take it

Don’t you succumb to fear
Don’t let them take away your rights so dear
We won’t run, no
We’re gonna fight for love and freedom
This is our world we’ve got to live in
And the hope of all the nations
Is too stand up tall
And we’ve got to learn to love each other
No more wars against one another
Join together and help each other
To stand up tall
In the end we must face it
This is our world we’ve got to shape it
We must take away all the hatred
Or we will fall
Together

Cult

Backslide

Backslide

Child grows up with hopes and dreams
Years of trial go by it seems
Something starts to grow

Sometime later in troubled space
Looking back, got lost someplace
And didn’t even know

Backslide
Back to the start again
Backslide
When will it ever end?
Backslide
When am I gonna be
That man again?

Everyday is another time
Fight the devil deep inside
Who’s never letting go

Now I know it just takes time
Keep on moving down the line
The journey is the end

And if you want to know
About the price you pay
For letting dreams go by
Take a look around
And you will see
People living blind
With vacant eyes
Ghosts flying by
Flying by

Way Back

Between

Between You and Me and Everything

Hunger and thirst beseech me to move
But I’m stuck here in the background
With my mind needing truth

Nothing’s behind the big bright door
So is the answer waiting
Through the bottom of this floor?
But I can’t do that anymore

I stare into space waiting for light
To somehow awaken me
And give back what I lost

What I need is to care again
For the middle and the end
And everything in between

Between you and me is everything
Everything I need
Between you and me a world awaits
It’s waiting there for me

Nightmare

Our Shared Nightmare

I had a dream last night.
You were drunk and reeling.
I had never seen you drunk before -
You were quite a sight.

Falling over head back
People holding you in their arms
Concern coming from the crowd
Of the ones you knew.

Then you looked up into my face.
You tried so hard to speak,
To tell me how it came to be,
That you, one I loved
Has gone away from me.

It was a nightmare you said
And I believe you my friend
For how else could it be
What else would drive you to leave me.
If I could have been there
To stop the nightmare before it came …
But then nothing would be the same;
But nothing will ever be the same again.

I don’t want to dream of you
It hurts to think about it
What may well have happened
All those years to you

But your words like ghosts
Come back to me and haunt
As if I was the one
Who treated you so wrong.

I’ve got this crazy feeling of guilt
That just goes with being human
And wishing to solve
The unsolvable.

And for some strange reason
I wish the dream was real
So that I may have an answer
To what made you leave this world

What does knowing matter
I ask myself now.
I still can’t hear your laughter;
And your legacy to me
Is the nightmare I can’t forget.

It was a nightmare you said
What was done to you
How you wished you were dead
How you did so, how you followed through.
If I could have been there
To stop the finger on the trigger -
Would things be so different … ?
But then nothing will ever be the same again.

I guess I’m looking for the day
When our shared nightmare will end.
Your part is through but mine goes on
And I won’t end it myself.

Tired

Tired

I’m sitting alone at the bar,
Wondering where you are.
Wondering when you’ll come see me.
And when you’ll take time for me.
I’m so tired of waiting for you

I’ve always been in love with you
But I can’t escape the fact - we’re through.
‘Cause I’m tired of waiting for you

When I saw you I shivered inside
For your beauty was to great to hide,
But I wish I'd never fell
For you put me through hell.
And I’m tired of waiting for you

What can I do
But to stay away from you?
For you led me down the right road
Then left me to fend all alone.
I’m through waiting for you.